Competition time!

Checking out the styles: Adam likes a neo-classical look. I'm keen on the old-fashioned"crucifix", a common symbol of the Christianity religion.

I need an obituary.

I've asked a couple of pros I know to have a go at a first draft, but I thought - why not throw the job open? How hard can it be? So, let's get eulogising. There will be a small but poignant bequest in the will for the obituary I like best.

I'll post some bullet-points of my career and life highlights, a sort of Brodie's Notes of Me. But if you want to start right away, there's lots of info you can get through Google, obviously. Please note though that many of the seedier and frankly silly stories there almost certainly concern the other Alex. I can still sue, up to the last day.

On Saturday I went cruising graveyards with the family, looking for inspiration. Such fun. I was very taken with a double cross grave (see the picture above). It's a nice retro look, don't you think? One day there could be room for Ruth, if she plays it right and stops blogging against me.

Crucifixes - a problem for a humanist? Don't think so. They're not really "Christian", anymore, just as Candle In The Wind isn't an Elton John song now. Both are universal artefacts. And overused, in death situations.

Talking of which, should I have Candle sung at the funeral with the Marilyn Monroe lyrics, or the Princess Di/England's Rose rewrite? Think the lattter are a bit cheesy, and, frankly, I've got so much more in common with the big M than poor sad Di.

Not sure who should sing it. My sisters, who have the voices of angelic Winehouses? Though they would have to do their bit after Alex Linklater performs Nights in White Satin, in order not to put him off.

Adam, I suspect ,will want to sing The End (Beautiful Friend) by the Doors, accompanying himself on imaginary guitar.