Less purple a death
My younger, greener brother Dan is very concerned with negativising his carbon footprint. (See Harnessingmymethane where you can read how he plans to lose half a shoe size by learning to read in the dark.)
Dan is not happy with my funeral arrangements, so far. He has pointed out that I could be more useful after I die.
My father plans to be buried under the rose garden, but, excitingly, the technology now exists to turn corpses into fuel. Reclaim your own carbon! Apparently 100 lbs of human fat will make 20 gallons of usable diesel-type fluid.
I could use my own self to, say, fuel the central heating for a top wake in a draughty place. I could probably power a spit-roast, too.
Or my mortal remains might provide the bio-diesel for a trip-of-a-lifetime sailing holiday for my friends on luxury yacht Spirit of Kenbane (see pic above). Mourning moments and contemplation-halts would be worked into the itinerary, but there'd be a lot of laughs, too, and some surprises!
1 comment:
Would you not prefer for your mortal remains to provide future nourishment for your loved ones? Buried in the garden in a handy biodegradeable winding sheet, you could decompose within, say, a couple of years, and be providing hearty top-quality organic vegetables by the time the police got round to pulling up the patio.
In the meantime, how about a bit of Scrabulous? BB
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