The Latter Days of Alex: Bad funerals

Good things they"ll be saying about me

"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." Albert Einstein
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down." Woody Allen
Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.
"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers." Jack Handey (who he?)
"To die would be an awfully big adventure" ~~ Peter Pan